I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
