When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Swine flu is the new snow day.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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