I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
soo... how was my night?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize