Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Mom said you looked used
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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