Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
