You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize