I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
