He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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