I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
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