Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize