oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
