Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
