I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
