I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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