what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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