I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
