there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize