just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
