and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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