have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
