I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
