Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
