Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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