the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If I die, sorry about rent.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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