I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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