why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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