What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
