Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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