You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Your penis caused this!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
