Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
my sisters under your porch take her home
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize