"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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