I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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