More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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