Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize