If that was your dad, he is hot
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
