you traded sex for a burrito?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
