i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
