I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
