The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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