remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I want her autograph on my taint
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
