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• (432): View more from Texas

  This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  You went to a drug deal in a onesie.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means

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• (206): View more from Washington

  You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.

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• (848): View more from New Jersey

  Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is

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• (425): View more from Washington

  It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  and how was that received?

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this

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• (415): View more from California

  So is he the one who got away?

  (619): View more from California

  They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.

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