You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
