Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
