Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize
