i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
