So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Oh god it's open bar.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize