you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize