Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
