currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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