awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize
