So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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