there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
