Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
