I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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