For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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