Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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