just come out here and I will go home with you...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
