i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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