omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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