NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
