the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
