he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
