I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
