I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
