The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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